Questions

I question everything. My parenting skills, my worth as person, my relationship with my husband, by ability to loose or not loose weight. This happens to be a pretty terrible morning. I am so stuck in such a bad spot. I just feel like my whole life is so unhealthy. I mean I try to lead a normal life. But I am so ashamed of my life that I avoid everything. People make me uncomfortable. I talk to no one because, well what would I say. What conversation would I have with my friend, if I had one? "Oh well, my husband is mean. Or at least that is the way I feel it but he thinks he's awesome. And my kids are having problems in school and they never listen to me. But that is because I'm a useless parent. What kind of parent can't get their kid to eat breakfast? Me that's who. Oh ya and as much as I want to not be fat I also have no will power and can't."

What am I doing in this life. Why am I still going round in this sick life. That's what it is sick. Unhealthy. But I don't know...I don't know what to do. I feel helpless. I feel like every time I try to make things better, I get slapped out of it. Thisngs are so bad I can't even type them. Becayse it is embarrasing. I would be told I am stupid for typing anything in the first place. I should just get over it and shut up and and stop being such a baby. I should never talk to anyone about anything.

Starting to sound a little on the crazy side of things now. I feel a little on the crazy side too. This is wrong and I need to do something about it. This is wrong. I HAVE TO CHANGE THIS!