Boredom

Cleaning is all done, kids are in school, workout done. Boredom. It's times like these I realize how very lonely I am. I don't heave friends to speak of. Not realy. My life is consumed by work and kids. I mean I have people at work that I am friendly with while at work but we don't talk or associate outside of that.

Sometimes I forget how lonely I am because I am on the go and so very busy. But times like this are a little overwhelming. I don't tend to try to make friends either. I mean I feel uncomfoprtable so much about my weight that I don't even realy want to be seen in public some days. So I think "what would the point of having friends be"? I don't want to go anywhere or do anything because I'm so fat. Maybe I'll think differently when the weight is gone.

I'm a little scared today. Scared I'm not doing as well as I think I am. I don't think I can put this one into words. Doesn't make much sense to me either...